It's been years since I tormented EN fags. I was "hard serious" on IAHB back in the day about culture and race, then we all got arrested and did time.
I'm older now and I look at my anger with a new light. I'd like to talk about this, but I don't know if you assholes want to hear it.
Survivorman, by Sherman Alexie
Here’s a fact: Some people want to live more
Than others do. Some can withstand any horror
While others will easily surrender
To thirst, hunger, and extremes of weather.
In Utah, one man carried another
Man on his back like a conjoined brother
And crossed twenty-five miles of desert
To safety. Can you imagine the hurt?
Do you think you could be that good and strong?
Yes, yes, you think, but you’re probably wrong.
Here’s a fact: Some people want to live more
Than others do. Some can withstand any horror
While others will easily surrender
To thirst, hunger, and extremes of weather.
In Utah, one man carried another
Man on his back like a conjoined brother
And crossed twenty-five miles of desert
To safety. Can you imagine the hurt?
Do you think you could be that good and strong?
Yes, yes, you think, but you’re probably wrong.
girls smell sweet and look all petite
and guys are big and tall
girls can wank in a ladylike fashion
but guys can't wank at all
the ladies don't take to guys that wank
they set themselves too far above
and what they don't know is that guys will go
for girls that don't shun love
so girls, be yourselves! don't hem and haw
about a wank here and there
because after a while, you'll learn with a smile
that guys prefer humans to air
and guys are big and tall
girls can wank in a ladylike fashion
but guys can't wank at all
the ladies don't take to guys that wank
they set themselves too far above
and what they don't know is that guys will go
for girls that don't shun love
so girls, be yourselves! don't hem and haw
about a wank here and there
because after a while, you'll learn with a smile
that guys prefer humans to air
Rating The Anagrams of Recent Bands/Albums That Have Been Reviewed At Pitchforkmedia.com
Real band: Thalia Zedek Band
Real album: Liars and Prayers
Anagram band: Dazed Ankle Habit
Anagram album: Anal Spray Dryers
Result: 8.6 Obvious victory for the anagrams. So overwhelming, that I'd humbly suggest that Thalia Zedek Band eat a dick and die, because there's nothing that they can ever do to overtake the simple image of a two-tone poster reading "Dazed Ankle Habit presents their new album: Anal Spray Dryers (August 3rd at the Hollywood Bowl)"
Real band: The Bug
Real album: London Zoo
Anagram band: Be Thug
Anagram album: [no results]
Result: 5.3 An underwhelming debut by an anagram whose album could have never lived up to its name. If they had possessed the maturity to have called the album "London Farm," we'd be looking at a 6.5 at least. They suck live, too.
Real band: Karen Dalton
Real album: Green Rocky Road
Anagram band: Ten Anal Dork
Anagram album: Radon Creek Orgy
Result: 9.1 A more mature sound; finally, Ten Anal Dork has achieved apotheosis and risen so far above the Post-Radon scene that they helped foster exactly 7 months ago with their debut album. While that was an uneven masterpiece, this is simply a work of art. Sometimes I cry at night.
Real album: Liars and Prayers
Anagram band: Dazed Ankle Habit
Anagram album: Anal Spray Dryers
Result: 8.6 Obvious victory for the anagrams. So overwhelming, that I'd humbly suggest that Thalia Zedek Band eat a dick and die, because there's nothing that they can ever do to overtake the simple image of a two-tone poster reading "Dazed Ankle Habit presents their new album: Anal Spray Dryers (August 3rd at the Hollywood Bowl)"
Real band: The Bug
Real album: London Zoo
Anagram band: Be Thug
Anagram album: [no results]
Result: 5.3 An underwhelming debut by an anagram whose album could have never lived up to its name. If they had possessed the maturity to have called the album "London Farm," we'd be looking at a 6.5 at least. They suck live, too.
Real band: Karen Dalton
Real album: Green Rocky Road
Anagram band: Ten Anal Dork
Anagram album: Radon Creek Orgy
Result: 9.1 A more mature sound; finally, Ten Anal Dork has achieved apotheosis and risen so far above the Post-Radon scene that they helped foster exactly 7 months ago with their debut album. While that was an uneven masterpiece, this is simply a work of art. Sometimes I cry at night.